tips for berlinale

1. don’t laugh at the people who had to stand
in line to buy/pick up tickets. even if you have the hook-up, you may eventually have to stand in line too.

2. realizing you have to wait and then trying to cut in front of half of the people already in line is a no-no. it is likely that there will be a taz reader present who will insist on explaining the process of line formation and its benefits to modern civilization loud enough for everyone to hear. (i was not a part of this interaction)

3. if you don’t really understand the language of the film you want to see and there are no subtitles, stay at home. do not bring your friend to perform simultaneous translations in a loud whisper. if you can’t wait for the DVD, learn sign language.

4. don’t kill yourself trying to think up questions to ask the director. it’s true he/she probably travelled a long ass way but berlin is not such a shabby place to be. i’m sure the director could be using his/her time more fruitfully than answering gems like, hey so are you from south africa? ok thanks… or watching someone totally ignore an answer to come up with their enlightening (as in 18th c.) hypothesis: maybe it’s the african culture?

5. if you don’t have paparazzi following you around, you can always get a stalker. mine showed up on the bus yesterday with an open bottle of beer, woozily stating that he’d seen me exactly 2 1/2 hours earlier on the bus. does that mean anything? he asked. yea it means you need help and probably should not be trying to create your own version of the berlinerfahrbar in the middle of the afternoon.

all that being said, conversations on a sunday afternoon was great. even with the disconnect of almost wanting to cry while 99% of the audience was laughing.


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