back to school

back to school

the three schools and an annex in my neighborhood are back to sucking up and vomiting out kids at all times of the day. even if i hadn’t noticed that the average age of people on my street decreased by 30%, somebody somewhere would have reminded me that school is back in session.

why? simply because i’d slipped back into my normal, jaywalking mode while school was out. i’m not a dangerous jaywalker. i just don’t see the point of standing in the rain on an empty street when there are no cars just because somebody decided to time the traffic lights a certain way. my brain has refused to warm up to this idea. if someone was giving out fines, that would be a different story.

it only took one day of back to school chaos for someone to yell at me (and some other woman) for crossing the street on red. how could i live with myself doing THAT in front of CHILDREN!?! was the gist of the guy’s little tirade.

i was on my way to church to repent for my sins when i tried to figure out the rationale behind the average jaywalker harasser. perhaps they are thinking:

1. Children are not smart enough to learn the difference between red and green pedestrian traffic lights.

i would find this hard to believe but maybe there’s an epidemic of colorblindness in berlin? or the two different ampelmänner are confusing for berliner youth?

2. Setting an example by doing is a necessary requirement for educating children, which is the responsibility of random people on the street.

since i have yet to see anyone yell at parents for smoking all over their kids or 10am beer drinkers for their existence, i’m not convinced this is even part of the rationale. i lived a street away from a methodone clinic from the age of 1/2 to 22 and i didn’t turn into a recovering heroin addict. i’m also not convinced that jaywalkers cause any imminent danger for German children.  although i believe setting an example by doing is a useful educational tool, following anyone blindly is surely not something i would advocate teaching children, unless they are being prepped for the military.


3. The police are not doing their job by ignoring jaywalkers and it is their duty as good citizens to yell at other people in the street.

this one i don’t believe either. i think it’s an excuse for angry people to yell at someone else in public. or maybe it’s just me… perhaps they have figured out my diabolical plan to teach all German children to walk on red, causing mayhem and destruction, and shutting down what’s left of the German economy. *insert evil laugh with reverb*


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