hermannplatz is hazardous to your health

yesterday was not a good day for the bvg. everywhere i went there were delays, pendelverkehrs and cancelled trains. the escalator at hermannplatz is still broken. god forbid the words Wittenau and Hermannstr. are blinking at the same time. a hundred of people try to rush up the stairs while a hundred of people are trying to get down. one lady fell up the stairs and almost busted her head open.

i made the train too, without injuries. just before the door closed, a slightly pudgy older man jammed his body between the doors and ripped the doors back open. once inside, he totally flipped out.

the man started making machine gun noises and pointed his imaginary gun at an imaginary target still on the quai. he looked around at all of us with wild eyes, accentuated by heavy breathing. the undercover ticket agent sheepishly asked him for his ticket. instead of complying, the man went on a rant about how often the S-/U-Bahn should come and how no trains were running. then, he proceeded to slap himself in the face several times, hard. at this point, i started to wonder whether you are supposed to call an ambulance if someone is trying to harm himself.

the ticket man was unphased and asked for his ticket again. this time unstable man responded with a sort of jig, hopping on one foot and then the other to a song he made up spontaneously: "ich habe ein fahrausweis weiss weiss weiss!"

luckily i was only going one stop. i didn’t want to hear the remix. "ich bin ein schwarz schwarz schwarz schwarzfahrer."

he calmed down a little bit and an onlooker decided to give his two cents. "it’s Sunday, man. trains don’t come that often."

i couldn’t make this stuff up if i tried.

maybe it was sun poisoning.


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