news

daily news

whenever i make a rare appearance at the inlaws, my father-in-law tries to convince me that the best papers in print are the frankfurter allgemeine and the berliner morgenpost. unfortunately, we already have a subscription to die Zeit (no space for comments on the was ist weiblich? – apparently only white women – cover), which is kind of snooty and therefore good for vocab. harald martenstein’s column is always good for a laugh.

growing up in new york, i remember having every newspaper in the house. the new york post, the daily news, the new york times, new york newsday, the amsterdam news. my parents even got hip to the village voice (free movie tickets!). i didn’t realize until i got older that this was not really normal. critical analysis, what’s that?

in france, daily newspapers were ridiculously expensive. shelling out for libé was a treat. once the free papers hit the streets, i couldn’t justify the expense.

recently, i decided to start reading the morgenpost. not because i think it’s one of the best papers in the world but because i lack local news on a daily. i couldn’t tell you when the news comes on RBB. i don’t even know what channel RBB is on. i’m pretty sure RBB doesn’t even have Tatort. even the german national news is a mystery to me. sportschau can run approximately 3-33 hours long. but if i blink, twitch, or breathe deeply, i’ve missed the 45.2 seconds of daily news in germany, which can be summed up by the following 6 words: schröder, fischer, tragedy, holiday, memorial, unemployment.

in france, the 8 o’clock national news was a standard. there was lots of time to chill out while someone explained why monsieur labré’s crops weren’t growing right or who won the baguette and butter competition. the state channels broadcast only the regional news for your region; regions do not run completely separate channels, which explains the frequency of cows on national reports. in the us, there’s the news "talk show," followed by local news, followed by national and international news, followed by a news exposé, followed by highlights of upcoming news at 11. 

since i’ve moved here, it feels like 9 out of 10 times, i’ll hear: did you see the latest exhibition, underground, alternative to whatever? before i’ll hear: man, this dude got jacked in the sozialamt! or is babylon really closing? i’m trying to rectify my end, which should at the least make for some interesting conversations with the father-in-law.

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